Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Breaking Up: Learn from it, Avoid it, Prevent it, Use it to Get Your Ex back

Breaking up is painful. Perhaps one of the most painful experiences a person can suffer. Often times in the days and weeks after a love break up all of the signs become painfully clear. The little changes that you don’t notice when you are still together with your ex stare you in the face when you are alone and thinking back. Once you get back on your feet emotionally, using those signs, remembering them and keeping them fresh in your mind can help you prevent a future breakup and may even help you to get your ex back if that Is what you want.

One obvious sign of an impending love break up is a reduction of or lack of physical contact. This isn’t limited to just sex, it is all kinds of physical contact, from hand holding to sitting close on the couch to snuggling. A change in the expression of affection is a sign that your partner is withdrawing from you, creating space between you and paving the way out of your relationship.

If your partner does suddenly stop having an interest in sex, that’s a clear sign that something is wrong and a break up could be on its way. While the normal flow and rhythm of a relationship can have times when there is frequent sex and times when there is little sex. A decline and them complete lack of sex is typically a sign that your relationship is suffering or ending.

There are many factors that play into a healthy physical relationship. Developing clear non verbal communication is an important part of a successful physical union. If a touch on the shoulder or small gesture of affection always leads to sex then your partner may flinch when you touch their shoulder if they are not in a place where they want to have sex.

There are many things that could be responsible for a change is your physical relationship. Fatigue, stress, money problems, family issues, and wrok problems are all things that can distract your partner. Paying close attention to them as they happen can, in some cases, prevent a breakup. Knowing what your partner wants and needs physically can help to win your ex back if you think they might be thinking of leaving.

If you begin to feel that your partner is lying to you it is time to take a good look at your relationship. Typically, small lies cover up much bigger issues. What is your partner lying about and why is he/she lying in the first place? It can be scary and difficult to talk to your partner about lying, but if you can do it in a non-confrontational way while showing concern and support then you might just get to the truth.

If the lying coincides with a change in your physical relationship your partner may be covering up another relationship. You don’t want to immediately assume that your partner is cheating, but if that is the case, getting to the bottom of it is crucial in either preventing a break up, or surviving it if it is going to happen. If you suspect that your partner is lying, your best choice of recourse is to practice complete honesty at all times. This will encourage your partner to be honest too. If you can attempt to react in a non hysterical and angry manner you will encourage your partner to be honest and tell you everything that is going on.

While you can’t assume every little lie or subtle physical change is leading to a break up, you can assume that something is up and needs your attention. Paying close attention to your partners subtle signals and what lead to them in the first place can help you top avoid a break up, heal from a break up and win your ex back if you lose them.

Catching your partner in lies, even what seem like small and harmless ones, could be a sign of problems, too. After all, if a lie is small and harmless, why tell it in the first place? Where there’s one tiny lie, larger and more damaging lies can grow. Don’t become convinced it’s a love break up right away though. People lie about many things that aren’t bad, like surprise parties and reunions. Your partner might be trying to keep a harmless and fun secret like that, instead of scheming about a love break up.

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