Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Save your Relationship

Lisa spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Joe feels that she is a stranger. Joe works long hours and Lisa feels like he is never there. Prolonged Miscommunication and misunderstanding between mates can damage or even end a relationship. Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.
  1. Establish relationship value- First, you must feel that the relationship is worth saving. Both parties must decide that they want to stay and fix it before the relationship can be saved. If a partner has moved on and refuses to return, there is little that can be done. Nevertheless, saving a relationship may require hard and serious work.
  2. Determine reasons- Convenience or children welfare are probably the top reasons why many people stay in a relationship. But should that be enough? How about feelings? How to save a relationship starts with dedication by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.
  3. Identify the problems- you must locate the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest dilemmas in how to save a relationship is the belief that symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

    For instance, many people think the break up was caused by the affair. But the breakup was bound to happen because the affair was caused by a deeper problem. For example, mistrust can lead to a straying spouse.

    While most people look at the affair as the problem, the main cause of the affair was the need of trust in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of trust, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could emerge because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

    When you resolve the core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

  4. Share concerns- Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Holding your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems indicates that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are fluctuating. Bear in mind that when your partner talks about things that hurt you, he or she is not doing it to be spiteful. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.
  5. Prepare a plan and implement it- Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Saturday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to chat about 30 minutes before going to bed. Just do it.

Finally, you must comprehend that saving a relationship is a continuing process. You might be taking two steps forward only to take one step back. Blame and feelings will be exchanged including both laughter and tears. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.




hiv positive dating services, free online christian dating service, free internet dating, definition of flirting, millionaire matchmaking, final fantasy dating sim, christian dating houston services, online free dating sim, agency dating nz, bipolar dating disorder, india dating online, ivy league online dating service, indiana adult personals, john mayer dating lizzie grubman, free adult dating, uk adult dating, looking for christian dating single, totally free dating sites, online personal ad, age dating legal, online personals, dating personals services

No comments:

Post a Comment